Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
