I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
