why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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