1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
another moral hangover. fuck.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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