I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
