just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
