i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
