Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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