I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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