i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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