I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
