Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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