break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
