Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
