Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize