chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
how does that bad decision feel?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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