Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
