you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
