My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
