Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my mouth tastes like poor choices
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
