And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
