oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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