Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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