She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
