I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
