So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
