is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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