we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
