I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize