i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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