I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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