if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
