it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
