how hairy? two words: wookie tits
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
