he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
