why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
