Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We need to get me chipped asap
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
