Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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