Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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