My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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