my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
