About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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