he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You were trust falling into bushes
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
