Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
