Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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