dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize