and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize