I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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