"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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