I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
