Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
