He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
