when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
