I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize