I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
