Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize