I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
