do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
