Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
