I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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