I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
