he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
