question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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