There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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