Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
sex in a hospital.. check
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize