I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
