Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
