i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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