doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
