We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im just a social blackout drinker.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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