he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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