suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Damn victory sex feels great
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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