bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We got so high we made milksteak
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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