walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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