so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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