I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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