you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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