I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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